If hearing your teen’s key in the door fills you with dread – don’t allow that to be your normal!
If they are swearing at you, threatening you, disrespecting you – don’t allow it to be your normal!
If your child is always arguing with you or fighting with their brother or sister – don’t allow it to be the normal that occurs in your home!
The bottom line is – if your child is able to function okay in other environments. If they are able to hold it together, behave and show respect to others – then there is no reason that they can’t do the same in the home.
Yes – they need to be able to relax in their own environment, yes they are supposed to feel like they can share exactly how they are feeling if something has not worked out for them – but it doesn’t mean they can come in and terrorise you.
They need the skills and the manners to be able to share their upset with you – not to blame you and spill all of their nasty feelings, thoughts and emotions out on you to carry.
As they get older they need to learn this.
You will support them – but you are not there to be trashed as and when the mood takes them.
There’s no reason that they should treat you and your home differently than they do their friends home for instance, or their school.
Our bodies slowly adapt to whatever environment that we are in – that goes for us and our children.
If it’s ‘normal’ for your home to be full of anger, fall-outs, tension and stress – that’s what your body will get used to and it will become the norm for your child to behave this way too; their standard behaviour in your home.
You will become desensitised to what’s happening but that doesn’t mean that that is okay.
Not at all!
All stress we experience has an impact on our bodies later on down the road.
If what I have said sounds familiar then take a minute to decide what you want your normal to be.
You can decide right now.
What do you really want to feel when your child puts their key in the door?
When you’re all together – what do you want that to look like?
I’m telling you – you can have exactly that – but it will take work
And if it’s not like that right now – expect the resistance.
All change – no matter how big or small – takes effort and will be met with resistance to change course. It’s the law of physics and it’s the law in your relationship with your child.
Don’t fear it – trust the process, prepare for it and make the changes.
If you need help with putting in the changes – you know where I am.
Book your ‘AS-LONG-AS-IT-TAKES-CALL’ HERE
Love relentlessly, regardless!
Anika – x