Parenting Brain – Jedi Mind Trick #1
“I cant ask for help because those experts will judge me.”
Don’t allow your parenting brain to tell you that the ‘experts’ have perfect children!
If you are reluctant to seek support for your child because you think you’re going to be judged by ‘experts’ who have got their parenting shizzle together – then you’re thinking wrong!
Just because someone has a title – doesn’t mean that they are having an easy ride.
These ‘experts’ will have their own crosses to bare with their own children. Trust me. I’m one of them.
I’ve said on more than one occasion that there have been times when I have had to go in and parent hard! Like a mofo! And I’m not even joking!
Parenting was my job – my only role. My 9-5 and 5-9.
It became my only reason for being on this earth – to get it right so my child didn’t fall over the edge. Why the hell was she so set on scrambling towards the edge?
I’ve had to throw down some serious moves which thankfully from my training and experience – I’ve been able to manage my child and what she brought to the table.
But it wasn’t easy.
The emotional stress was heavy. And I am one of the experts!
Teachers, doctors, nurses, Social workers, parenting gurus are there to serve you – remember that. If they come before you and your child with judgement and negativity – remember that they are their to serve and don’t ever be afraid to remind them.
You can say it with a smile.
Parenting Brain – Jedi Mind Trick #2
“You made the wrong decision. Now look what you’ve done! They’re devastated!”
Rarely is that true!
Sometimes I’ve needed encouragement to stand strong – because that parenting guilt thing – oh gosh! When that guilt thing kicks in and you have to stand firm and stick with the decision that you have made – it can feel so damn raw.
Their little faces and their puppy dog eyes. The guilt that sets in can leave you feeling weak – like you’re the worst!
But – that’s just the parenting brain Jedi mind trick at work.
That’s when you’re vulnerable and you need to check in with others, who you trust and who share your vision and the pathway that you are helping your child to carve out.
When you’re weak that’s when we start to question our decisions. We start to backtrack and feel sorry for the upset that we’ve caused our precious babies.
We’re pre-conditioned to love them – to protect them from pain and upset – so it’s understandable that when we put in measure that our heads know are right – our heart will sometimes fail us. Our hearts can make us override the best decision that we could of ever made for our child.
We just want them to be happy!
And this is the worst trick of all because the truth is – they won’t be happy.
Give in to your child’s nonsense and give in to your guilt – and they won’t even appreciate it.
They’ll just want more next time.
That’s when you need the support from your peers and this leads me nicely on to …
Parenting Brain – Jedi Mind Trick #3
“You should be able to sort out your own kids!”
As far as I’m concerned – my children are everybody else’s business!
When I’ve got an issue – I’m bringing all my people in on this shit. There’s no way I’m about to tackle my child with all the energy and the ninja moves that she could bring – on my own.
I’ve consulted with my family and friends – to check myself that I am on the right path – sometimes I’ve taken their advice – sometimes I haven’t but it’s always good to get fresh perspectives.
Parenting is hard work!
It takes you out of our comfort zone. It challenges you like you’ve never been challenged before – so I’m not afraid of the judgement that my Jedi mind trick makes me think – will come.
Guilt and shame will not keep me in hiding.
Most of the judgement that we think we’ll get is all in our heads – but some of it is real.
But what those people judging you don’t realise is that your child is unique. Your child is coming with their own personality – their own unique set of circumstances – as are you!
Walk a mile in my shoes – and then tell me something about myself!
This is why we don’t tolerate judgement in my parenting group.
We are a supportive team of parents – all experts in our own right.
All here to share and to support.
Right now – things are settled with my children – but should it ever start hitting the fan again – I’m turning to you guys in my group! No hesitation!
That’s why I started this group – because there isn’t support for parents who have older children – and that’s why I’m here for you.
“It takes a village to raise a child”
If you’re not part of our village yet – join us here:
And as always …
Love relentlessly, regardless!
Anika – x