Want to survive Christmas? Here are your Top Tips!

TOP TIP #1

DON’T’ BELIEVE THE HYPE!

Do not buy into the John Lewis type advert which may make you feel that Christmas day should be a whole 24hrs full of festivities, fun and laughter at every and any given minute!

Remember adverts such as these are many months in the making designed to make you feel as though you are missing out and that the only way to feel better is to spend money with them.

Do not buy into the social media posts of families preparing for Christmas and having ‘oh-so-much-fun’. Remember that these pictures or mini videos will show, an often staged, snapshot of one moment in time.  Seeing lots of your friends on social media with their pictures and videos can give the impression that everybody is having fun except you! They can make you feel as though you are somehow lacking, and it simply isn’t the case.

The psychological impact of social media posts have now been linked to unhappiness in teens –  so remember your child will be influenced by adverts and social media too – making them feel not so great about the family home environment.

Make your teen aware that this misconception is what happens to all of us in a consumerist and social media world and don’t be hard on yourselves if there isn’t constant laughter and excitement and balloons and reindeers in your home. Enjoy those moments of laughter as they come and enjoy those moments of quiet. Enjoy the downtime you get – if any – and enjoy the preparation on the big day.  

Enjoy your moments. No pressure for it to be any more than that.

 

TOP TIP #2

TAKE A REALITY CHECK!

Now I’m contacted a lot more by parents before and after Christmas. The Christmas Holiday Season is where the true state of relationships are revealed. If you have great relationships, then this is magnified during this time and if you have contentious relationships these cracks will also be highlighted.

This will occur between you and your children, you and your partner and you and your extended family members.

So, if we focus on your teen for a moment; acknowledge who they are and not who you’d like them to be for the day. If they have been miserable, ungrateful and rude for the last 364 days then it’s likely that they will show at least some of these elements on the 365th!  Don’t be shocked. Don’t put higher expectations on them. Don’t have a meltdown and blame them for spoiling the whole of your Christmas. They can only do that for you – if you place expectations on them to make you and everybody else happy. Don’t depend on your teens behaviour to make your teens day.

It’s likely that the pressure of trying to have a flawless 24hrs will actually have the opposite affect and put you both in a place of heightened anxiety. A day filled with false smiles, fake joy and holding your tongue is not the way to go. You’ll resent it. Make an extra effort by all means but keep it real – and enjoy the positive moments as they come.

 

TOP TIP #3

YOU CAN’T BUY THEIR HAPPINESS

I know that you know this one already! And I hope I’m not too late with the advice!

Don’t spend a small fortune on them – thinking that you can buy their happiness. You can’t!

If you have a moody, ungrateful teen in your midst – then nothing that you do for them on the day and nothing you buy them for the day will make them happy – well not for long anyway.

Do what you can and do what is in your heart to do. Do not over extend yourself – thinking that money and gifts are going to fix rifts. It will just be a band aid at best. Those issues that you have with your teen will still will still have to be dealt with.

And those are my three top tips!

If you need and support or advice over this holiday period – book in for my ‘As-Long-As-It-Takes-Call’ 

You can CLICK HERE or Email:anika@teen-behaviour.com

Enjoy your Christmas moments – x

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