Our children need to know that their are consequences for their actions and they need to know that consequences are out of their control.
I’ve spoken to many parents whose children say the words ‘sorry’ – and maybe they genuinely mean it – but then expect forgiveness and all things back to normal once they’ve managed to utter the ‘magic’ word.
Well to be honest – life just doesn’t work like that and whilst we can acknowledge that they do feel remorse for the actions or words that have inflicted us pain – t doesn’t mean that we must instantly stop hurting.
That’s just not their call.
If your child apologises for their behaviour then they also need to back up and give you room to digest what it is that they ahve done.
let them know that you are a human being.
Let them know that you feel too.
There’s just no way that I’m going to jump to my children’s or any child I work with’s tune. No way!
If they are sorry great but then they need to wait until I’ve licked my wounds.
That’s more liken to the real world.
In fact – in the real world – there will be times that “sorry” won’t count for sh*& – because some people will move on quicker than your child anticipates.
They will lose out on friendships or support or jobs – regardless of how apologetic they are for actions that put them in jeopardy!
That’s just the nature of consequence. It’s out of their control!
So that’s my message to you – teach your child to give you room and respect the time that it takes you to heal from the actions that have impacted on you.
Give them a flavour of real life! 😉
Anika – x
If you are struggling with teen behaviour in your home – do get in touch.
Book in a call HERE