3 Top Tips to Surviving Christmas With Your Teen!

3 Top Tips to Surviving Christmas With Your Teen!

3 TOP TIPS TO SURVIVING CHRISTMAS WITH YOUR TEEN! [feel free to share this post & if you need any support – message me – you can book in for an 'As-Long-As-It-Takes' call]TOP TIP #1DON’T’ BELIEVE THE HYPE!Do not buy into the John Lewis type advert which may make you feel that Christmas day should be a whole 24hrs full of festivities, fun and laughter at every and any given minute! Remember adverts such as these are many months in the making designed to make you feel as though you are missing out and that the only way to feel better is to spend money with them. Do not buy into the social media posts of families preparing for Christmas and having ‘oh-so-much-fun’. Remember that these pictures or mini videos will show, an often staged, snapshot of one moment in time. Seeing lots of your friends on social media with their pictures and videos can give the impression that everybody is having fun except you! They can make you feel as though you are somehow lacking, and it simply isn’t the case.The psychological impact of social media posts have now been linked to unhappiness in teens – so remember your child will be influenced by adverts and social media too – making them feel not so great about the family home environment. Make your teen aware that this misconception is what happens to all of us in a consumerist and social media world and don’t be hard on yourselves if there isn’t constant laughter and excitement and balloons and reindeers in your home. Enjoy those moments of laughter as they come and enjoy those moments of quiet. Enjoy the downtime you get – if any – and enjoy the preparation on the big day. Enjoy your moments. No pressure for it to be any more than that. TOP TIP #2TAKE A REALITY CHECK!Now I’m contacted a lot more by parents before and after Christmas. The Christmas Holiday Season is where the true state of relationships are revealed. If you have great relationships, then this is magnified during this time and if you have contentious relationships these cracks will also be highlighted. This will occur between you and your children, you and your partner and you and your extended family members. So, if we focus on your teen for a moment; acknowledge who they are and not who you’d like them to be for the day. If they have been miserable, ungrateful and rude for the last 364 days then it’s likely that they will show at least some of these elements on the 365th! Don’t be shocked. Don’t put higher expectations on them. Don’t have a meltdown and blame them for spoiling the whole of your Christmas. They can only do that for you – if you place expectations on them to make you and everybody else happy. Don’t depend on your teens behaviour to make your Christmas day.It’s likely that the pressure of trying to have a flawless 24hrs will actually have the opposite affect and put you both in a place of heightened anxiety. A day filled with false smiles, fake joy and holding your tongue is not the way to go. You’ll resent it. Make an extra effort by all means but keep it real – and enjoy the positive moments as they come. TOP TIP #3YOU CAN’T BUY THEIR HAPPINESS! I know that you know this one already! And I hope I’m not too late with the advice!Don’t spend a small fortune on them – thinking that you can buy their happiness. You can’t!If you have a moody, ungrateful teen in your midst – then nothing that you do for them on the day and nothing you buy them for the day will make them happy – well not for long anyway.Do what you can and do what is in your heart to do. Do not over extend yourself – thinking that money and gifts are going to fix rifts. It will just be a band aid at best. Those issues that you have with your teen will still have to be addressed.And those are my three top tips!Enjoy your Christmas moments – xIf you need tailored support over this holiday season or beyond – simply book in for my 'As-Long-As-It-Takes-Call' PM me for details.

Posted by Anika Vassell: teen-behaviour.com on Monday, 18 December 2017

 

TOP TIP NO.1

DON’T’ BELIEVE THE HYPE!

Do not buy into the John Lewis type advert which may make you feel that Christmas day should be a whole 24hrs full of festivities, fun and laughter at every and any given minute! Remember adverts….CLICK HERE TO READ MORE

Consequences! Sometimes “Sorry” Just Doesn’t Cut It!

Our children need to know that their are consequences for their actions and they need to know that consequences are out of their control. 

I’ve spoken to many parents whose CLICK HERE TO READ MORE

Set Your Boundaries!

Don’t shy away from putting in boundaries with your older teens.If you need to put yr foot down then put it down and stick with it.

Yes they might kick off and have a mini rant – but that’s only to be expected. Who likes to be told No? CLICK TO READ MORE

Play the Long Game!

We don’t have to get drawn into any arguments that our children instigate with us. They know exactly which buttons to press and before you know it you’ll be in a full blown argument.  The problem is – is that they are often experts at this…. CLICK HERE TO READ MORE

Decide Your Normal – & Go With That! 

if hearing your teen’s key in the door fills you with dread – don’t allow that to be your normal!

If they are swearing at you, threatening you, disrespecting you – don’t allow it to be your normal!

If your child is always arguing with you or fighting with their brother or sister – don’t allow it to be the normal that occurs in your home!

The bottom line is – if your child is able to function okay in other environments. If they are able to hold it together CLICK HERE TO READ MORE

If Your Teen Needs to Get Off the X-Box – MAKE IT HAPPEN!

Parental confidence is a real issue – but it is our job to put what we know is good for our children – in place!

No Apologies! CLICK HERE TO READ MORE

SATs REVISION! ENOUGH ALREADY!

Of course we all want our children to do well.  As well as the possibly can do.

We want them stretched and challenged – and if they’re in school to learn – we want to be able to mark their progression.

SATs should be a great way to do that – however the fact is that they are being abused. 

CLICK HERE TO READ MORE

 

 

ARGGHH! MY TEEN IS NOT EXAM MOTIVATED!

How frustrating!

Is there anything more frustrating than watching your child just sit there – unmotivated, uninterested by their upcoming exams?

So what do you do now? CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT

EXAMS! DON’T GET STRESSED – GET PROACTIVE!


Exam stress is a reality for children from primary school right through to university and we need to take it seriously!
The mental health of young people is incredibly poor in the UK right now – to a point where… CLICK HERE TO READ MORE

SOME SCHOOLS BULLY PARENTS! FACT!

If you feel that you’re school is not listening to you regarding concerns about your child. If you feel that the care, love and support is missing and they are treating you and your child as a tick box exercise then there are things that you can do to protect yourself… CLICK HERE TO READ MORE

THE GRADES WILL FOLLOW!

Did you know that for us parents – the grades that our children get – are not actually that important?
Now this is not to say that we don’t want our children to do well – but if we really want to make a difference to their academic attainment our focus should be … CLICK HERE TO READ MORE

WHAT STRATEGIES HAVE YOU PUT IN PLACE?

I cant stress how important it is for you to get your strategies in place for your teen. Preparation for the adolescent years and the things that they will face is key to everything!

We know the teen years are coming. We know that the teen years are a difficult time; often putting stress on parents, impacting upon siblings and in fact, sending the whole family into turmoil.

It’s a time when your own personal relationships become fractured as you argue about…CLICK HERE TO READ MORE

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